Being a Dad with Bipolar

I have two wonderful kids, a 10 year old son and a 6 month old daughter. I couldn't ask for two better kids and they are the loves of my life. Above all, I consider myself a Dad first and any and everything else a distant second. 
When I became the "weekend dad" to my son it destroyed me. A lot of my time after my divorce I was extremely depressed. Not because of the divorce, I was young and to be honest, it wasn't a very healthy relationship. I was depressed because my life was uprooted and my little daddy's boy wasn't able to have his Dad around. 
When I'm feeling depressed, I like to hide out from the world and not be around anyone. I had a routine down to the second of when I had to get out of bed to make it to work on time. It's hard knowing I can't get up but I have to anyways to see my son. The guilt is crippling, especially when I did take the easy way out and called him up to tell him I was sick and can't see him. Try to hide the tears when you hear his voice, broken-hearted, tell you "that's ok Dad." 
When I'm in my manic phase I had no issues at all seeing my son but I didn't always make the right choices. I would never put my son in harm's way but I would spend money I didn't have, keep him out later than I should, and even give him an extra dessert or three. Doesn't seem like much until the cycle of guilt comes back. 
I'm doing well and getting treatment now. I have great relationship with my son and going through what I went through with him taught me a lot about having to care for myself before I can take care of others. I feel that I won't make the same mistakes with my daughter and I'll just continue to grow as a great Dad....

The Dreadful Title of Weekend Dad

Week end dad- I don't want you to think that everything in my life is miserable. It just comes off that way as I'm venting. I have a wonderful family and a girl who I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. My baby girl is 6 months old and always puts a smile on my face. My son is almost 10 and I can't believe how fast he's growing up! Since he was 3 I became the weekend dad because his mom took a metaphorical shit all over me and the courts might as well applauded her.
My week goes like this as a weekend dad- The week is pretty much filled with anxiety throughout but Mon and Tue are pretty calm as long as I get to talk to him on the phone which has been less and less lately. Wed my stress starts to amp up. I always have to "check in" with his mom to make sure he's going to be at school on Fri so I can pick him up. (if you knew her track record you'd understand why I have to check in with her.) Thu. I prepare myself for the hour and a half ride on 3 hours of sleep (due to work) that I have to take on Fri to get him. Fri is getting him home and "fixing" him up. Somehow his Mom forgets to have him keep up with daily living skills for him during the week. Soon as he's ready for bed, I crash. Sat we can actually enjoy ourselves as a family. Sun, we both know he has to go home later in the day and we both get pretty bummed out about it. I drop him off. The guilt starts and the anxiety cycle is right back to where it started. You know what though? I'd do whatever it takes to see my little man!